Tag Archives: channel 4

Television

Given his general laissez-faire appearance, including an admirable commitment to making every day a dress-down Friday, you’d have to feel that Luke “Ming” Flanagan, the Roscommon TD-cum-hash-and-hospital-activist, probably doesn’t suffer from any great ego or conceit.

Still, if he had any sense that his own personal star had risen to the stratosphere since his election to the Dáil 12 months ago, that must have been taken down a peg or two when he took a look around at the other “celebrities” in the grotesquely watchable Alan Hughes’ Celebrity Family Fortunes (TV3, Saturday, 10pm).

Ming’s family were beaten – not literally, in this instance – by scrapper Paddy Doherty and his clan, the stars of Channel 4’s (also grotesquely watchable) my Big fat Gypsy Wedding. It may be indicative of things that Paddy and the rest of the Dohertys were spot on with every answer in the section about popular forms of plastic surgery.

That was enough to send them through to play for the top prize of €5000 for charity, where Paddy, who was spotted at one stage grinning from ear to ear as he tucked his expensive-looking shirt into his expensive-looking trousers, answered the relatively straightforward question, “Name a male relative”, with “sister”.

Given that his television appearances to date have almost exclusively been in his own natural habitat, we’re sure it was just the nerves that got the better of him, and maybe it was nerves too that caused Hughes to pass the moment by without grasping the obvious chance for a good piss-take. “Sister? what were you thinking, Paddy?” he would have been within his rights to say. maybe Hughes has seen enough of Paddy’s peel-em-and-bate-em personality to back right off. Les Dennis or Vernon Kay wouldn’t have been so forgiving.

Alan Hughes’ Celebrity Family Fortunes was one of the many spanked victims of Dermot Whelan’s cutting wit in Republic of Telly (RTE 2, Monday, 10.20pm). the show has come a long way under Whelan’s stewardship – a joke about renaming it, Hughes’ Family Fortunes style, as “Dermot Whelan’s Republic of Telly” was nicely self-deprecating, but there’s no doubt it would suffer greatly for his absence.

Not that it’s a one-man show, either. the comic is ably assisted by Jennifer Maguire and Bernard O’Shea, with the Real Republic having developed into one of the show’s best segments, which this week included the classic line, “he has the head of a melted action man.”

The show’s other real Republic, with the Jen Talks on-street chat show and on-street night-life-watching 24-Hour Camera – this week in Letterkenny, complete with routine mooning and full-frontal exposure – suggests an Irish reality that may be best avoided. You mightn’t have realised it at the time, but sitting in and watching Alan Hughes’ Celebrity Family Fortunes can be a much safer way to spend a Saturday night.

Looking at something that’s both a lot more rarefied and a lot more English, it’s sad how far Film 2012 (BBC 1,Tuesday, 11.35pm) has fallen from the gravitas and authority of the Barry Norman years. the great one could be forgiven for routinely vomiting at around midnight each Tuesday night as the programme that was his preserve for so many years dips and whirls from one horrible moment to another.

Claudia Winkleman, Noman’s latest successor, has the strange knack of being irritating without uttering a single word, and when she starts to talk she becomes much more irritating still. Her sidekick is Danny Leigh, who knows much more about movies but possesses no on-screen charm at all as he sits forward and pontificates smugly on all the latest releases. As the pair give their verdicts you could be forgiven for finding yourself looking forward to the movies they dismiss and giving a swerve to ones which get the thumbs-up, which is a damning attribute for a movie review show.

There is the odd good moment – the featurette from Chris Hewitt on the rise of comic book movies over the past 15 years or so was well worth five minutes of your time – but enough to make up for the fingernails-on-blackboard stuff whenever Danny, Claudia and Claudia’s mile-high fringe are on camera? Possibly not, although the Sky Plus fast-forward button was made for shows like this.

Television

The Ugly Face of Beauty

Just when you thought that Dr Christian Jessen had educated us on everything there is to know about bodily issues and health matters, out he pops with a brand spanking new show, ‘The Ugly Face of Beauty’. After his success with hit documentaries such as ‘Embarrassing Illnesses’, ‘Supersize Vs Superskinny’ and ‘Embarrassing Bodies’, I had high expectations for Channel 4′s latest offering.

At this stage the whole concept of finding insecure and vulnerable people to tell their sob story, and then moan about their appearance on TV seems a bit old-school. yet, ‘The Ugly Face of Beauty’ brought back the shock factor that probably hasn’t been seen in the makeover world of TV since that disgusting programme ‘The Swan’ (hosted by Irish lass Amanda Byram). Fortunately, this documentary doesn’t have women competing against each other through plastic surgery, but instead it shines a spotlight on the industry and comes to the aid of women who have fallen victim to botched operations.

In last night’s episode (the first of two), Dr Jessen really hit home with his startling figures. On his visit to a secondary school in London it was horrifying to watch such innocent young girls focus on such trivial matters. We met Saira (17) who wanted liposuction on her legs and belly. Zaineb (17) wanted to enlarge her breasts. Leila (16) would love to have liposuction and “obviously bigger breasts” and Karla (15) wanted to have her ears pinned back. What ever happened to the good old days of worrying about how crimped you could get your hair?

The lovely Polly Hudson added an interesting angle to the documentary by following three women who decided to move abroad to get a bit of sun, sea and surgery. she genuinely looked like a lost puppy trying to explain to wannabe glamour model Natalie Rooney (cousin to Wayne, of course) that not only did she not need a breast enlargement, but that under no circumstances did she need liposuction with her tiny size eight frame. Despite being warned about the severe risks involved in the extreme surgery Natalie (19) was insistent and went ahead with the surgery – all in the name of having the biggest breasts in Britain (Jordan, watch out!).

The highlight of the show had to be when Andrea Thompson went undercover with a secret camera to witness the pushy procedures used by some clinics. It was flabbergasting to witness the psychological and almost emotional blackmail used to brainwash women into thinking that they needed surgery. one of the clinics claimed that they had a discount for May and June. however, six weeks later the deal was still on. (That has to break some sort of consumer act?).

For me, the final part of the show successfully tugged at the heart-strings, when Andrea showed her acting ability (again) and posed as an undercover plastic surgeon consultant with her sidekick Maria. It was fascinating to watch them seal the deal (in less than 5 minutes) with 38-year-old Debbie who only wanted to inquire about prices for a nose job and breast enlargement. Sign these girls up for the next series of ‘The Apprentice’ now!

As much as I was embarrassed and cringing for the women who were stung and tricked by the ‘actors’, I think that they all gained from the experience, which is all that matters. hopefully the reactions of these vulnerable women will inspire more people out there not to go under the knife.

I look forward to next week’s episode as we get to witness how high the price of beauty is, when the new appearances of the three women who jetted off abroad are revealed.

The Ugly Face of Beauty