There’s this picture that I saw recently that made me see the light, hence the title of the post.
I’ll post it at the end of the post, because I feel the need to break it down for the dazed and confused readers. But I do warn, the picture might not be safe for work. There, my disclaimer is out so you can’t try and sue me (as broke as I am, I wouldn’t even sue myself!)
Anyway, I’m sure that there are some highly self-conscious creatures that exist on Mama’s Earth, right? and a majority of those creatures are known by the scientific name of homo femme sapiens, but for the sake of simplicity, the creatures are called women.
Bad sexist jokes aside (I AM sorry for that, ladies), women tend to be more keen to change their physical features if given the chance and the money. why? well, the reason isn’t that clear-cut; women wish to alter their bodies for medical reasons, others to make themselves feel more confident, to be able to marry a handsome (and maybe rich) man, some to get that promotion their A-cup boobies couldn’t get.
A very grey area, no? well, whatever the reasons may be, the procedures usually lead to the same destination/goal: to look more attractive. Although, some operations might do the opposite, but let me not digress much further.
So, old girl makes a plan to get enough money for that dream surgery, we won’t debate on what the plan could be, get “guidance” from friends and family, travel to the public surgeon (preferably Dr Rey from Dr 90210), gets told all kinds of bullshit from Dr Rey and the person she brought with, get fed tons of anaesthesia and the gory operation commences in front of cameras that are linked to a TV network which distributes to their satellites for the whole world to see. Then she wakes up…to a whirlwind kind of PAIN, but no worries, as long as she looks good after this.
She went from a frumpy, buck-toothed, boulder-nosed, sagging cheek girl with cottage cheese thighs to a sexy, confident, Botox-lipped, D-cupped woman with her tight butt and little nose in the air like she’s born with it.
Suddenly, she meets a guy. the man of her dreams. the man she looks at and thinks: “This is the father of my kids”. Don’t worry, this implies she’ll marry him; THEN they’ll have sex.
Then we fast forward through all the flirting and hard-to-get mind games and all that other bullshit.
Would you look at that? she finally married the man of her dreams. Now she can relax, as her life is now set, her Disney fairytale has a happy ending. She’ll do whatever it takes to the best wife she can be to her husband.
AND THEY HAVE SEX. LOTS AND LOTS OF SEX!
9 months later, a baby is about to be born, the beginning of a new generation, an addition to the prestigious bloodline that includes history of inbreeding. and the moment of history arrives – but what follows is not joy, rather confusion.
“What the hell, this baby is ugly! he doesn’t look like any of us”
Oh yeah, remember the man is handsome and rich…but as thick as bricks! He’ll assume that the wife has been cheating on him with somebody that looks like Alfred Hitchcock and Robert Mugabe combined. But we all know the truth, right? But she can’t tell her that, because he’ll divorce her.
Too late, he already filed for divorce this morning; she’ll be served with the papers by the afternoon. because, in his mind, he can’t be married to a philanderer or a woman that deceived him; she made him think she’s beautiful but actually isn’t.
She could either regret having plastic surgery or fight the soon-to-be-ex for a few houses or an 8 figure settlement and get more surgery and go get a new sucker to leech off find a new love.
So, yeah. That’s why I believe that plastic surgery has been ruining and will continue to ruin marriages. makes you wonder why divorces are so high, doesn’t it?
Here’s the picture I promised you…
Plastic Surgery Ruins Marriages…