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Wow, so musicians are dropping left and right, huh? Since MCA died almost three weeks ago, the music scene lost Donna Summers, Chuck Brown (if you live outside of DC, don’t ask), and the fireman from the Village People. Wait…hold please… sorry, Google is telling me it was the guy from the Bee Gees. My mistake. Either way, the music landscape looks exactly the same as it did the day after MCA died. Not the point of my post.
Every time a “celebrity” dies, my thought process goes exactly the same way:
Thought 1: “Wow, BLANK BLANK died? Crazy.”
Thought 2: “God, I miss Patrick Swayze.”
Thought 3: “Who’s next?”
Next to beer pong and X-Box Kinnect tennis, speculating on which celebrity will kick the bucket is the most awesome game to play.
The scoring system is easy. There’s four categories. Each is assigned a numerical value. When a person from that category dies, you get that number of points. Pick wisely, keep your own score, and let’s reconvene at the end of the year.
The draft begins now.
CATEGORY 1 – ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE: 1 Point
The “uh-duh’s” on your squad. These folks are like drafting kickers in your fantasy football league. You need them to fill out your roster, but they’re not single-handedly going to carry you into the playoffs. (think Dick Clark in 2012)
Betty White, 90 – The fact that Rose still walks the earth while Blanche is no longer with us is one of God’s most fascinating mysteries. Watching Betty White on television is like watching a toddler learn to walk; you just hold your breath and pray they don’t fall.
Bob Barker, 88 – if you think Bob is going to spin the wheel and land on 100, you’ll never make it to the Showcase Showdown. He’s got some wonderful parting gifts waiting for him in the back.
Robert Duvall, 81 – Robert Duvall is more liver spot than man at this point. Very safe pick in, say, the fourth round.
Clint Eastwood, 81 – Clint Eastwood is one of the baddest men to ever walk the earth. But not even the High Planes Drifter could cheat the grim reaper forever. Sure, Clint has saved himself some energy by only whispering for the past eleven years, but we’ve all been quietly preparing ever since Paul Newman died.
Keith Richards, 68 – Yes, I understand it looks like he already died. But the Stones great guitar man is still barely very much with us. For 50 years, he’s treated his body the way my new puppy treats our living room rug. A half century of that? It’s just a matter of time.
CATEGORY 2 - HE CERTAINLY DOESN’T LOOK WELL: 10 Points
These are people you weren’t thinking about, but when they drop, your first thought is, “yeah, I can see that.” (think Michael Jackson in 2009)
Donald Sutherland, 76 – Donald Sutherland will have to cease being in EVERY SINGLE MOVIE on earth some day. I think that day is closer than you think.
Dick Cheney, 71 – There’s two ways to look at this one. Option A: He’s a 71-year-old man who’s suffered five heart attacks, just received a heart transplant, and is karma’s arch nemesis, or Option B: He’s the Devil incarnate and cannot die. Second thought, Dick Chaney is ineligible for the draft.
Jack Nicholson, 75 – Yeah, Jack Nicholson is 75-years-old. I think we all thought (at the very least, to ourselves) that he was too old to play the Joker… and that was 23 years ago.
Paul McCartney, 69 (uh huh huh) – The same way there’s only one Golden Girl left, there’s gonna be just one Beatle left. So, is it gonna be Paul or Ringo? Also like the Golden Girls, I think we’re gonna be stuck with the one nobody wanted.
Andy Dick, 46 – Not only would I draft Andy Dick, I’ll go so far as to predict how it’s gonna happen: suicide. Below is a video they’ll play at the funeral honoring the life of Andy Dick.
CATEGORY 3 – I JUST SAW HIM LAST WEEK!!! 20 Points
This is the “nothing is impossible” category. It probably won’t happen, but they’re also not launching any major investigations if it does. (think Kurt Cobain in 1994)
John Goodman, 59 – Here’s my impersonation of John Goodman’s physician: “look, John, I’m not gonna tell you anything you don’t already know.” I’ve had Dan Connor in that Belushi/Farley/John Candy camp for years.
Michael J. Fox, 50 – oh, stop it. Wipe that indignant look off of your face. Listen, nobody loves Michael J. more than me, and I know Parkinson’s isn’t fatal, but how do you not worry about him? He says things like “it’s the gift that keeps on taking,” and I’m not allowed to emotionally distance myself in preparation? Hypocrites.
Robert Downey Jr., 47 – in AA, they say it’s only your last drink until your next drink. With the help of a kick-ass publicist, RDJ has made you forget that he entered a stranger’s home and climbed into their bed. If/when he relapses, he’s gonna relapse hard.
Charlie Sheen, 46 – A year ago, Charlie Sheen was in the “one Foot in the Grave” category. He’s been downgraded, but 20 bucks says he still goes before his old man.
Lindsay Lohan, 26 – You’re telling me this would be more shocking than Whitney Houston?
CATEGORY 4 – THIS IS AN EFFING TRAGEDY: 50 Points
Whoa, I didn’t see that one coming. (think Heath Ledger in 2008)
Michael Phelps, 26 – But Michael Phelps is the picture of health! why would he die? That’s the whole idea of this category.
Earl the Butcher, 34 – so young, marginally talented. It would rock the blogging world for moments to come.
Tupac Shakur, 41 – What if they found out he actually was still alive, and then just a short time after the news of his resurfacing broke, he died for real? That would be tragic!
Jeremy Renner, 41 – He’s finally breaking through to leading man status and then… a bus. Oof.
I would love other nominees for the official draft. If you have any thoughts regarding glaring omissions, think someone has been placed in the wrong category, etc., PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t keep that bottled up inside. Leave a comment!
Anyone who has ever considered having plastic surgery has more than likely heard some horror story from someone about a surgery that did not turn out well. or they may have read an article on someone who had surgery that left them scarred or looking fake and plastic. These kinds of stories are heard and they have happened to people. Sometimes complications can lead to terrible plastic surgery for someone. It might not be complications that cause a problem but also may be a person has had too many procedures and has started to look more plastic than real. they may have had a Botox treatment that did not quite go as they planned and left them with a stiff, unnatural look instead of the younger look they hoped for. Even a simple seemingly noninvasive surgery can have complications that can lead to more problems or more surgeries to correct a mistake. no surgery is ever 100% guaranteed to turn out exactly the way a person plans it, there is always a risk involved and always a chance complications may happen.
If someone is not a good candidate to have a surgery but the surgeon agrees to do it anyway there is a higher risk of complications for that person. It does not always happen but the risk is there and a terrible plastic surgery can happen. someone left with excess scarring after a procedure may require more surgeries to fix it and it can leave them emotionally damaged. Knowing the surgeon a person picks to do their surgery is qualified, has done the surgery many times and has references can help cut the risk of complications. This is also a way for someone to make sure they have the best surgeon they can, by checking references and the degree the surgeon has. Ask how many times they have done the surgery before.
Face lift leads to woman’s death, woman’s ulcer misdiagnosed as cancer, surgeon operate don wrong organ, boy gets wrong leg amputated.the list never ends. Recent headlines like the above have become very troubling for people undergoing surgery. However, statistics are hard to come by, because most states don’t require doctors to report surgical errors. there are things you can do to lower your chances of something like that from happening to you.
You may have to be a pain in the rear to your doctor or nurse, but you have to look out for yourself. Ask your doctor how many times they have performed the procedure you are looking into getting done and compare it with other physicians. Check out hospitals online – some sites rank hospitals by specialty. Tell everyone your name, date of birth and what surgery you are having done so they don’t mistake you for Suzy down the hall.
The American Academy of Orthopedic surgeons encourages its doctors to sign initials directly on the surgical site. make sure no one besides your assigned surgeon is signing it. Confirm the site with the surgeon right before surgery and don’t go under the knife until it’s clearly verified. have a friend help you by keeping them afloat on what’s going on since you will probably be nervous before the procedure and out of it afterwards. They can ask questions and try to make sure everything goes smoothly.
Plastic surgery is another story. by performing a procedure, the surgeon is stating that they have the education, training, and necessary skills to practice safely. They also have the responsibility to disclose all possible risks post surgery. any careful surgeon will not perform surgery on a patient who has unreasonable expectations or shows signs of serious mental instability. Patients also need to know what they should do in preparation of and prior to the surgery – sometimes it means stop smoking or taking certain meds. To avoid risks, it is important to use a board certified plastic surgeon and be sure you feel comfortable and confident with the surgeon you choose.
Mistake #1: You don’t check your doctor’s credentials. Advertisements for Botox and fillers can be seen all over the place. For example, you might be at your annual eye exam, and you notice that your eye doctor now offers Botox injections for crow’s feet. Don’t assume that just because your doctor is a doctor, that they are capable of performing cosmetic procedures. most people don’t know this, but any MD can claim to be surgeon. due to increasing monetary incentives, the numbers of doctors claiming to be surgeons is increasing. Make sure your plastic surgeon isn’t just a doctor, make sure that whoever you are trusting to perform cosmetic procedures is properly certified. You should only trust a surgeon who has training for cosmetic surgery and procedures.
Mistake #2: You go to an untrustworthy MedSpa. “In a 2008 survey by the American Academy of Facial and Plastic Reconstructive Surgery, more than 75 percent of doctors said that they knew of a medical spa with a medical director who was nowhere to be seen — not on-site performing, or even overseeing, medical procedures.” Do you really want your face injected with fillers or botox by an untrained or poorly trained person without proper supervision? Even nurses (though not nurse practitioners) require physician supervision! Do you really want to receive local anesthesia without someone properly credentialed and certified overseeing the process? In some instances, patients have become horribly disfigured because they received improper treatment. Saving time by not having a full medical history taken for every new patient is never the right thing to do. the risks of trying to save a little bit of money seem too great; I would much rather pay more and be able to fully trust my facial plastic surgeon. If you are seeking to receive treatments at a MedSpa, do your research! Legit MedSpa’s have a board certified surgeon on site performing cosmetic procedures or overseeing them.
Mistake #3: You lie about smoking. If you are receiving a cosmetic procedure, don’t lie to your surgeon. your doctor needs to know your complete medical history to prevent anything that might go wrong. For example, if you are a heavy smoker, you may have low oxygen content in the blood. This can cause your wound to heal poorly or even to separate, and your surgeon needs to be able to take account all these factors to determine if you are a good candidate for a procedure.
Mistake #4: You don’t tell your doctor about the medicines or supplements you are taking. Many people think “why do I need to tell my doctor that I’m taking Omega 3 supplements? It’s okay; it’s for my skin, it’s not important.” However, what you don’t know is that Omega 3 can cause bleeding if taken in doses greater than 3 grams a day. This will definitely affect you if you have a procedure done. so make sure you tell your doctor everything that you are taking, including over the counter medications such as aspirin/ibuprofen (also increase bleeding potential!), vitamins, and supplements. And I mean everything, even if you take those gummy vitamins once a day, what’s the harm in making sure your doctor is aware of your complete medical background? it can only help!
Breast augmentation doesn’t have to be expensive. Breast implants usually cost anywhere from $2,000 to $10,000, depending on a number of factors. the average cost is about $4,000. you can expect to pay more for implants in major metropolitan areas, especially New York and Los Angeles.
The least expensive place to get your surgery is in the southern states. when you’re asking about the price, be sure to ask if it includes one implant or both. This might seem obvious, but this simple mistake could mean seeing the cost double when you get your bill It’s important to make sure you’ve got all the details covered.
Some Things That Affect Price
$2-10,000 is a big range. so, what factors affect the price?
First off, the type of implant makes a difference. Silicone implants cost more than saline. you can expect to pay about $1,000 more per implant, although this varies quite a bit depending on location. another major factor is what the price covers. Implants themselves usually cost around $1,000 a piece.
Anesthesia is usually $500 to $800, and hospital fees usually run about $1,000. Medications to help you in your recovery will also add to the cost. make sure your quote covers everything, so there won’t be any surprises. A reputable clinic will give you all the detailed information you need up front.
A few years after you get your implants, you’ll want to have a follow-up. This will include an MRI, which usually costs somewhere around $2,000. Don’t think of this as an optional cost the purpose of the follow-up visit is to make sure the implants are not ruptured. This is an important safety measure, so don’t try to cut costs by not doing it
Breast Implants and Insurance
Many folks find it hard to get funding for their implants. Health insurance almost never pays for breast augmentation. in cases where the operation is for breast reconstruction following a mastectomy, coverage is sometimes available.
Even when there is coverage for breast augmentation, it usually doesn’t cover health problems that might occur as a result of the surgery, follow-up appointments or MRI’s. Be sure you know exactly what is and isn’t covered in your health plan.
In face, some health plans will raise your premiums if you have had breast work done. They view it as a risk, even though breast implants are safer than ever these days. your health company may be one of these, so be sure you read the fine print and know where they stand.
How Much should you Pay?
You can’t really put a price on quality breast augmentation work. If a doctor says they will do the job at a ridiculously low price, it might be a good idea to look elsewhere. It’s not worth the risk going with a clinic that may not be safe or trustworthy in order to save money.
A breast job done badly will end up costing you more because you’ll have to have corrective surgery, or have the bad implants removed. when shopping for a clinic, don’t worry as much about the cost as about the quality they offer.
There are many reasons people may have for considering a nose job. it may be for cosmetic reasons – they may be unhappy with the way their nose looks. Or they may have breathing issues. Or their may be a feature of their nose that seems out of balance. Whatever the reason, rhinoplasty surgery is a big decision, so getting all the facts is essential.
Before considering a nose job, ask if this surgery is really necessary. if you are not happy with the shape of your nose, it could be something else that is troubling you. make sure there are no other alternatives. after all, this is major surgery, done under anesthesia. You don’t want to go through this only to realize it was a mistake.
If you decide to go ahead with the rhinoplasty, you will need to find a good, board-certified cosmetic surgeon or plastic surgeon . look for one who specializes in nose jobs. ask to see before and after photos of people with facial characteristics similar to your own. make sure your surgeon answers all your questions.
During the surgery, an incision will be made, depending on what the purpose of the nose job is. Medical reasons for rhinoplasty include repair of a deviated septum. Cosmetic reasons include removal of a bump in the nose, making the nostrils smaller or larger, making the nose more narrow, making the nose shorter, changing the tip of the nose or reshaping the cartilage. Rhinoplasty can also make the nose larger if that is desired, by using implants.
Like any surgery, you will experience pain and swelling afterwards. this can last several weeks. Cost of course will depend on where you live, as well as the extent of change you want. Generally the cost of a nose job ranges from $2000 to $4000. if rhinoplasty is being done for medical reasons, it may be covered by insurance. That is not the case if it’s being done for strictly cosmetic reasons. What’s the right age for a nose job? again, it depends. if this is being done for appearance’s sake, most doctors won’t until the patient is in their late teens.
In some cases, reconstructive plastic surgery may be covered by the patient’s medical insurance. getting a cosmetic plastic surgery however may be a procedure that you have to finance yourself using a loan.
Now, there are already several options for people who can’t afford a cosmetic surgery. before we look into those options, let’s take a look at what else you should know about financing plastic surgery.
Don’t Go for Bargains
You may be tempted to pick a surgeon who asks for less if you do not have clear options for financing such procedure. This is however, the worst possible mistake you could ever make. The costs are usually steeper if the surgeon who will conduct the procedure is already seasoned and an undisputed expert. an expensive doctor however is also more likely to be a safer option and eventually a more cost effective one. Cheap doctors may also have cheap services that may result in more problems because you would have to pay for corrective surgery on a botched up work.
The extent of work to be performed, the type of procedure and the region you belong to are also some of the other factors that affect the cost of the procedure. Doctors and clinics will also therefore have different payments schemes or offers for financing such surgery. you would have to discuss this aspect as extensively as the procedure itself. be warned that there may also be hidden costs or miscellaneous fees that you may not have asked about and may not be included in offers for financing the said procedure.
No plan Scheme
Some clinics and plastic surgeons don’t allow financing plastic surgery or will not allow you to present loan or installment plans. some patients may not immediately realize it but such a policy may be as much for the patient’s advantage as it is theirs. This is because such a strict policy will ensure that a patient can truly afford the procedure and its corresponding after surgery costs.
Some clinics will even ask for a complete payment before a procedure to secure patient assurance. This may be potentially dangerous though especially if accidents happen.
Finance Companies and Banks
Now, there are already several finance companies and banks that provide options for financing the procedure. Individuals can now fill up forms for approval to cover cosmetic plastic surgery. Most companies will tell you that they have affordable and flexible rates but the truth is that applying for a loan may be a little more difficult than imagined especially in banks.
Plastic surgery loans are actually unsecured by collateral. This means that a bank or company may have to meticulously investigate your credit history and report to find out if you are capable of paying. even if you do pass an application for financing plastic surgery, some companies may have higher interest rates than others simply because it is their only security if you are suddenly unable to pay.
So, you are considering plastic surgery. If this is the case, you are probably trying to figure out how to find the best plastic surgeon. after all, a bad plastic surgeon could literally scar you for life as more and more are turning to plastic surgery to help them with their looks, plastic surgeons are popping up left and right. there are a few questions you should ask before you choose a plastic surgeon. These questions will help you from making a big mistake and ending up with a surgery result that you are unhappy with.
First, ask your potential plastic surgeon about their past history with the particular form of plastic surgery you are seeking. Find out exactly how many patients they have done the procedure on. If they are a rookie, run the other way Remember, repeat customers probably means the doctor is doing something right. Also, you do not want to be his or her practice case
Second, ask the doctor about the side effects that are likely from the plastic surgery. this is especially important, because many types of plastic surgery can lead to some interesting side effects. you will be told the common side effects when you opt to have the surgery, but you want to ask your doctor about the rare problems that occur with the procedure you are considering. Decide if the side effects are worth the risk. Also, find out what the risk really is, but keep in mind that even if the risk is really low, you might be the one that gives in to the side effect
Next, beyond side effects, you will want to find out what could go wrong while you are being operated on. For example, ask the doctor what he could possibly do wrong and realize that he needs to be honest with you. If the doctor is not willing to tell you what could possibly go wrong, you might want to consider a different doctor for your plastic surgery.
Next, ask about any suits that the doctor has faced. Specifically, find out if your doctor has faced or is currently dealing with any malpractice suits due to their plastic surgery. you will probably feel uncomfortable asking this question, but you have a right to know if the doctor has made a huge mistake recently. Also, if you find out there is a malpractice suit against the doctor, make it a point to get as many details as you can, so that you know the cause of the suit. you may find it was not the doctor’s fault after all.
Finally, find out what you would need to have done if something went wrong with the plastic surgery. Along with this, ask specifically how much the reconstruction surgery would cost you. Remember that mistakes in plastic surgery can cause you serious emotional and physical problems. you want to know what you will be facing if something goes wrong. a good doctor will be willing to talk with you about the potential surgeries you face if something goes wrong.
If you are happy with the answers to these questions, then you have found a good plastic surgeon. Before signing up for the plastic surgery, make sure it is truly something you want and that you are willing to live with the potential problems.
There are few things that can change your appearance like plastic surgery. the rise of cosmetic enhancement has given men and women the opportunity to correct problems with their bodies and faces that would have been difficult or impossible in years past. Of course, as exciting as the possibilities are, it is worth noting that any surgery should be undertaken only with the most serious of mindsets. Before you agree to go ahead with any operation, you need to have a frank and honest discussion with your surgeon. here are some questions you should ask.
How Should I Tailor My Expectations? This is an important one. Many people find themselves in a slight depression following a major session of plastic surgery, precisely because they come into the process with unrealistic expectations. Make no mistake about it; these procedures can do amazing things to change a person’s appearance. But they can’t make you someone else. Of course, on the flipside, some people aren’t expecting the procedure to make as big a difference in their appearance as it does. having a clear conversation with your surgeon can give you a much better idea of what to expect.
What is Your Experience? There’s a funny thing about the rules of plastic surgery in the United States. anyone who has obtained their medical license is more or less set to perform any surgeries they would like. It is not uncommon to see ear, nose, and throat specialists begin performing nose jobs after taking a weekend workshop. Don’t settle for vague information like oh, I’ve been in practice for fifteen years. Get specifics about their education, their board certifications, and how many times they have done the exact procedure you are having.
What is Involved In Recovery? This is a very important question. It is one you will hear all about at the appropriate time, but you should definitely ask as many questions as possible before you sign up for the operation so you know what you’re getting into. some people don’t have as much flexibility as others when it comes to taking time off of work. You’ll also want to know how limited your activities will be in the weeks following the procedure and how long it will take for the real results to begin shining through.
Plastic surgery can be a wonderful thing for many people, but it always helps to have as much information as possible before making any major decisions. by having an open dialogue with your doctor, you can satisfy your curiosity and make the best decision possible.
