Ask people in real life to reveal information that could destroy their families and careers and, unless you’re a shrink or a priest, they’ll run for the hills. but on aggregator giant Reddit, where anonymity is as easy as coming up with a unique “throwaway” username, thousands of netizens are spilling their guts.
The thread, called “Throwaway time! What’s your secret that could literally ruin your life if it came out?,” posted just before midnight Monday, tipped the scales at over 16,000 comments mere hours later.
It’s incredible what people will admit to, as one user phrased it, “random jackoffs on the internet.” Anonymity grants incredible courage. Also incredible are the responses to many of these posts. Redditors chimed in to share suicide hotlines, messages of support and simple assurance that the same shit happened to them.
The original poster started this thread to tell a secret of his or her own, and also to begin something like a social experiment. ”I’m interested in reaction[s] to this (as I’ve never told anyone before), and also to see what out-there fucked up things you’ve done. the sort of things that make you question your own sanity, your own worth. Surely I can’t be alone.”
His story is below, followed by just a fraction of the responses. Emphasis ours.
My secret is that I allowed my friend to kill himself, and everyone thinks I tried to save him. the reality is that I thought he was joking. he was always overly dramatic, not in a gay way but in a emotional teenager way. this would have been back in the mid 2000s in junior high and when brick nokia cell phones were pretty exciting for 15 and 16 year olds. Apparently he’d called up a few of our mutual friends in the previous few months threatening suicide, but this all came up after the fact. I had no idea. Evening of he calls me up, sobbing and swearing, telling me he’s going to kill himself. I had no idea he was depressed or suicidal, and was also a bit high and so intelligent me responded “Well you’ve always wanted to be on TV.” a few more sobs and he hangs up. I think nothing of it.
The next day news spread all over the school that he’d hung himself, and I was feeling pretty sick, figuring that it couldn’t have happened long after our conversation. I was called into the principals office, pretty much fearing that I’d be imprisoned for causing this and this guys parents were there, obv crying their eyes out. I just kinda sat and waited to be torn a new one. They told me that they found his phone nearby and a call to me shortly before was in the history. I froze, waiting for something to happen, for someone to yell. no one did.
His mum, and then his dad came up and hugged me and sobbed onto me, stepping back to profusely thank me and praise me for talking to him and trying to be there for him, for being such a good friend and staying on the line. Through their teary eyes I could tell that they totally believed I had done good by their son. So I lied, and said that I did everything I could and I’m sorry I couldn’t have done more. I’ve been telling that lie ever since.
I once helped out my a female friend’s family by taking care of their cat for a week. Every day for a week, I would go over there and snoop around their house. I found my friend’s diary, and proceeded to read the entire thing. I used this information to get her to like me, and she is currently my wife.
This is my old account, so might as well throw it away.
While on deployment, I killed a man in a coup de grace. the feelings of taking a man’s life always weigh a heavy burden on me every day. no one like’s hurting people. he had been hit by some of our mobile artillery. while part of me wanted the bastard to be in pain, it wasn’t right. My medic was busy with my wounded, and as the officer on duty I took out my .45 and put one in his head. I knew my boys wouldn’t say anything. most just watched, accepted it as a fact of war, and kept walking .I remember throwing up afterwards. I came home and everyone acted like I was a hero. I never felt like more of a sham my entire life.
Cousin died when we were both seventeen. There was a reception at his house just after the funeral. I went into his room and stole all the money that was there, took some other valuables that his parents wouldn’t realize were gone. no one knows that I did it, they just assumed he didn’t have any money in his room, only loose change. I don’t regret it, but I will never admit I did it.
Also my cum box.
Well, it is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a shoebox, or at least once was, and whenever I masturbate I cum into it. I’ve had it for two or three years now I think, so it has a fair amount of cum. it smells atrocious, and I tried to burn it once. when I lit it on fire, it was too damp due to the cum that it simply sizzled and didn’t manage to actually lite up. Turns out burning cum smells awful, so I had to spray it with a deodorant body spray just to get the old smell of burnt cum away. it also has some drenched papers stuck to it. That’s pretty much it.
Because people were asking, my greatest shame. [WARNING: THESE ARE ACTUAL PICTURES.]
EDIT 2: a lot of people are asking me, why? Well, I’m apparently a rather disturbed individual. but, it just kind of happened, bought new shoes and needed someplace to cum, used the box. it just escalated from there, kept using it each time, telling myself I would throw it out soon. never did, two or three years later, I still have it. it was planned or anything, it just happened.
I lit a tree on fire for kicks, and ended burning half a forest down and several homes went up in flames in the process. I wanted to say “i did that” when I saw it on the news.
I posted several dozen obscene pictures of myself on the internet as a minor, because I’m a dumbass, and now I’m on my way to a career in foreign diplomacy.
If you ever hear about a scandal involving a foreign service officer and her own child pornography, you’ll know.
I’ve masturbated to my mom numerous times and feel absolutely disgusted by it. I was surfing the internet and found a porno. Come to find out the woman looked a lot like my mom and I masturbated anyway. I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve masturbated to that video imagining it is my mom. I don’t even want to talk to anybody about it because I think it’s one of the most disgusting things you can do. It’s been probably around a month since the last time I did but I need help.
edit: And no, I wouldn’t have sex with my mother but I’m just in this trap that I can’t seem to completely break.
I once took a shit in the bathtub and then realising what a horrible mistake I’d made, I flung poo into a hole in the wall.
My parents renovated and patched up the hole. So now there is a ~15 year old turd in between the bathroom and kitchen wall of my childhood home.
Not even using a throwaway because I have no shame.
I don’t really like my girlfriend as much as I try to convince myself that I do.
It actually physically hurt me to type that, but it also was relieving. what a weird feeling.
I raped a girl on a student exchange.
I honest to God didn’t realize what I had actually done until two years after the fact. I thought that the crazy encounter was her fault for being crazy but the truth of the matter is that I forced her. Emotionally and physically. I always used to tell “my side” of the story as a funny sex-gone-wrong story but I was laying in bed one night, running through the events when it clicked. I’ve been losing a tremendous amount of sleep over it in the years since.
I have sex with my step mom when my dad isn’t around. I’m junior in high school and its been going on for 6 months now.
She pretty much married him for money, she spends it all on plastic surgery and shoes and clothes. My dad travels quite a bit for his job, so he is gone for several days at a time. I was watching netflix and she came in my room and sat next to me and started talking about all kinds of shit, how she missed being young bla bla bla – she’s in her mid 30′s or so. she offered me some pills – i’ve never done drugs of any kind, but i figured it would be ok since she was giving them to me. I got in weird mood, where i didn’t care about anything, i just felt good and fuzzy inside. we laid down and cuddled a bit, i didn’t have a care in the world at this points so i decided to try to kiss her. she didn’t resist, we made out for a few minutes and then she decided we should stop. I fell asleep with her and several days later we ended up having sex on my dads bed. Now we have sex about 1 or 2 times a week, depending on my dads schedule.
I once jizzed into my dad’s underwear.
I’m only even posting this because this thread has taken off so far that nobody will even see it. going to get it off my chest anyway.
Throughout my teen years, I had a lot of sex with my sister and even more sex with my brother.
It started with my sister (we are a year apart) in our early teens and was only mutual oral and handjobs. went on for about two years, maybe once or twice a month. I started getting scared that it would turn into something more serious and that we would eventually fuck. I was certain that if that happened, she would get pregnant with a deformed baby, so I decided on both of our behalves to end it.
Then my brother and I started up. At first, just oral, but eventually turned into full blown, unprotected, cum-into-each-other’s-asses buttfucking. we fucked each other at least once a week for four years until I moved out and went to college. I didn’t feel the same trepidation as with my sister because there was no risk of pregnancy.
I consider myself bisexual, not because I’m a closeted gay, but because I am sexually attracted to both genders. I watch straight porn, gay porn, lesbian porn, solo guys, solo girls, mixed group play, it all gets me off.
Today, myself, my sister and my brother are in our thirties, we are all in monogamous marriages, and all three marriages have produced children. My sister knows about me and my brother, and my brother knows about me and my sister. I’ve never told anyone else and I have no idea if they’ve ever told anyone, because we’ve never discussed it since it ended. we all still love each other and get along.
I am a city councilman, a business owner, and an active member of the LDS church. I disagree with the church’s stance on sexuality, but I never voice this disagreement. if anyone ever knew this, it would literally undo everything I have achieved in my adult life.
There is no way I could verify or prove the authenticity of this without jeopardizing myself, so you’ll just have to believe or disbelieve me, that’s your prerogative. I might hit close on my browser before I press post. if you’re reading this, I at least had the balls to anonymously get it off my chest.
This will get buried. I have been considering suicide for months now. I had an affair with a married man, and he ended up leaving his wife almost immediately after it started to be with me. we are very much in love, and we plan on getting married. I feel so good about our relationship, but the guilt that comes with it has tormented me so much. My friends ostracized me after finding out that I was a “home-wrecker,” and since I am still in school and he moved to a different city for a job, our long-distance relationship has left me very lonely. he knows how hard it is for me to be with all the people at my school who were once my best friends that now glare at me and spread gossip about me constantly, in front of my face, like I can’t notice. (it’s a small college, and I am nearly finished, so transferring is pointless at this point). the guilt about the affair and the rejection from my peers has been eating away at me for months. our ‘affair’ has been over for a year and a half, and we have been together that entire time, but even then I can’t get over it. I know I need counseling. I will get some help when I graduate. Sending this out into a void where someone might read it feels even a little bit better.
I got sucked off by a guy at a party, then sucked him off. only gay experience, am now engaged. have to say, was fun but not quite my cup of tea. Glad I gave it a shot. Won’t be telling the fiancee about that.
I basically killed my father. or at least intentionally allowed him to die. he was an abusive father all my life, and when I was 19, he had a heart attack. I calmly took the phone away from him before he could dial 911, put the recliner he was sitting in up so he would be laying back and his weight would make it harder to breathe, took one last look right at him, then left the room.
About an hour or so later I found him sitting there staring forward with foam in his mouth, not breathing.
I should clarify that I had been working at a hospital for at least 4 years at that point (volunteer work) and I was first aid certified. I knew exactly what was happening, and what I was doing.
I faked having a chronic pain condition for 5.5 years in order to not have to attend middle school and high school (I was placed on a homebound program — NOT homeschooling — and allowed to study at my own pace from home). I was able to fool a team of medical professionals, my family, my teachers, and my friends into believing that my symptoms were real. Also, I racked up over $100,000 in medical bills for my family (that’s just what the insurance didn’t cover) during those 5.5 years (I did not realize the extent of the medical bills until late into my lie and it was one of the main reasons I decided enough was enough). upon graduating from high school and getting accepted into a good university, I decided that it was time for my “pain” to go away. no one has questioned the fact that my symptoms vanished over night, my medical team attributed it to the fact that I was nearing the end of puberty.
What I did was a douchebag thing, and my family is continuing to drown in debt from medical bills (I plan to pay them back someday). I simply started the hoax because I was a 12 year old who absolutely loathed middle school. I attempted to end the lie at the beginning of every school year, but eventually fell back into saying my “pain” prevented me from attending school. Today I feel horrible about what I did, and I desperately want to tell everyone that it was a lie, but I know that I cannot because I will never gain credibility back again.
Masturbated in class during high school on several occasions. the girl in front of me that I accidentally jizzed on one time became my prom date. Bag ‘em and Tag ‘em.
I have been pretending to be colorblind to everyone I have ever known, including my own parents since I was in 3rd grade. I am now 28 years old. I even convinced an optometrist of it.
My father never had anything other than boys, and my mother always wanted a girl. try as they might, they just had tons of boys. when I was 6 they adopted a girl of also 6. Everyone was pleased, and she was quickly included into the family by everyone and we all took an immediate shine to her. especially me.
We started playing “doctor” at 9. this progressed to fooling around by our early teens, and into actual sex shortly thereafter. We’re both over 30 now. we have sex whenever we see each other. we also like to pretend we are twins when we do have sex.
We’ve both had our shares of girlfriends and boyfriends, but we always kept it up even while in those relationships. She’s actually married now.
We still have sex about 2 times a month, more when the family gets together for holidays. I can’t even imagine the bricks that would be shat if anyone ever found out. It’s been close a few times, especially when we were younger, but nobody’s ever caught on.
Me and my cousin have been doing it for 10 years now. it started when she was 12 and I was 13. we had to babysit the younger kids in our family while the parents went to a party, and when they fell asleep, me and her got to talking about a lot of stuff. I made a move and started kissing her, and she didn’t resist. we ended up doing it on her bed that night. we would end up fucking almost every weekend when we lived with our parents, telling our parents we were going out to hang out with some friends, but actually hook up. I’m 23 with my own apartment now, and she comes over almost every day to make out/fuck
I’m eventually going to kill myself. I don’t know when, but I’m pretty sure that’s where life is taking me. I’ve never kissed a girl and I’m approaching 30, I have panic attacks in social situations, therapy seems to only make me feel worse, and I’ve decided that living so that others don’t have to deal with my death isn’t worth it anymore.
I’m basically just waiting out my parents so they don’t have to attend my funeral.
I attempted to kill my father by putting some cleaning stuff in his waffles when I was 8. he said they tasted funny and nothing happened. I just got tired of him hurting me and my mom (and I’m still tired of it). I still wish every day that he gets in a car accident and dies or drowns on his fishing trips.
I have been having sex with my cousin since I was 18, on and off for about 3 years. the worst part about it is that she is severely Bipolar, hyper-sexual, and on disability(probably for life). It’s consensual and she wants to do it more often, but I know i’m making things worse as opposed to helping her live a normal life. I think I first rationalized it as being a way to comfort and offer her companionship…
Everyone in my family tells me how great it is that I’m one of the few people who can get through to her and get her to listen.
Not me but one of my frat brothers in college knocked a girl up. a month later she had had lost the baby. I was using his phone one night to find my phone when his dad texted him, i swiped the lock causing it to open up the chat thread revealing the messages that explained the story.
The day he found out he drove with some of our other brothers to Mexico and he came back with RU486, the abortion pill. he had apparently spoken to his dad who forced him under threat of pulling him out of college and cutting him off to secretly sneak the girl the abortion pill. I dont know the logistics of how he did it but apparently he secretly poisoned her causing her to lose the baby.
He has no idea I know and I doubt anyone else does.
I attempted to molest my step sister when she was 12 and I was 16, I couldn’t being myself to continue after she said stop a few times. I will never live this down, and I even lose sleep over it at night. she has never brought it up and she loves me more than anyone, and I don’t deserve it.
A while ago I was watching this 60 year old lady’s house. she had this one alcohol from the Yucatan that had aprhodesiac properties. I got drunk off of it and laid down in the guest bedroom. (she told me I could sleep in the guest bed) as of this point I was EXTREMELY hammered…
I went to put my phone into the drawer and saw she had a vibrator. I was doing my own little no fap challenge at the time (before I heard about it here) and that, combined with the Yucatan alcohol made me really horny… I had heard about prostate orgasms here on reddit. I pulled up a Tori Black scene of her getting pounded in the ass. I found a bottle of lotion and started lubing up my penis… and my asshole… I shoved the vibrator in there, turned it on, and started fapping. I came like crazy.
I then painfully removed the vibrator, it was absolutely covered in shit. I went to the sink to wash it off with soap and water. I cleaned up the general area if the bathroom afterwords. My cleaning did nothing. the vibrator still reeked of shit.
Along with my constant thoughts of shame and disgrace, I thought of all the yeast infections she must have gotten from using that vibrator after. it still reeked like shit when I put it back, i was just so drunk.
When she came home the next day, she was showing me pictures on ehr computer of her trip in her office and you could still smell all the lotion I used the night before, along with more shame…
TLDR: shoved a 60 year old lady’s vibrator up my ass.
Edit* Thank you reddit for bringing me humor about probably the worst incident in my life. it has really helped me cope. the details are kind of hazy. I don’t remember exactly where the dildo was. I was in a fit of horny rage.
I tried to kill myself once. I grabbed my grandpa’s revolver out of the gun case, went out back, sat down against the big oak tree I used to climb as a kid, and put it against my temple. I forgot to make sure it was loaded. I’ll never forget how the dull click resonated in my skull, through my jaw, and down my neck. you know how they’ll do that echo-y slow motion type of effect for stuff in movies and TV? it was pretty much like that — that split second seemed to last forever. that was about 6 years ago, and that was the only attempt I ever made, but I still think about doing it again after that lesson in preparedness.
The worst part is that everyone thinks I’m this happy-go-lucky guy who’s just a loner, when I’m actually really depressed and terrified as fuck to open up to anyone, but you guys are just random jackoffs on the internet so it doesn’t count/matter.
These stories beg the question, is this now-public information safe? Could someone with major hacking know-how trace an IP address and discover the user’s identity? Possibly — but for some, perhaps it makes the confession even more thrilling. Secrets that fester for years want to come out some way or another.
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Posted May 1, 2012 10:11am